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[Sunday
22:12, 9th, December, 2007] |
Ciao!, Lush ♪
I wouldn't say it was a "break-up" because we were never more than good friends. We shared a bed and I thought we shared ourselves. I found I was wrong when all the stories were just that: stories. I'd hang on his every word, beg him to retell my favorites. I liked to lay on his lap and watch movies, although he hated the vulnerability of this comfortable position. It was fine, I accepted every single one of his addictions, knowing I had my own as well.
Sometimes I'll smell the cologne he used to wear and it turns my stomach. This isn't the reaction I thought I'd have after we stopped talking, but it doesn't surprise me. A lot about the relationship and the subject himself revolt me. I can't understand what part of me connected with him. I also cannot grasp how I found him intriguing. He was like every other silver-tongued boy in the world, but he happened to take an interest in me. This is something else that will forever confuse me.
I like to remember him, if only to smile and know that I'm happier now. I never thought it would be possible to be this happy outside of a relationship. It is, even if it isn't a permanant happiness. And I'll forever associate this song with the end of one of the most frivolous trysts in my past.
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